Anticipation

I find myself constantly thinking about Lauren. Thinking what she's going to look like and what color her eyes will be and whether she will have curly hair like Meghan (her birthmother/my cousin.) I think about how excited Jack and Caroline are to have a baby sister. They constantly are asking if we can buy this or that for her at the stores. Caroline wants to feed her, burp her, dress her, change her diapers. You name it. I think about having a baby in the house again. I think about how crazy it was with twin babies and how this time it might (MIGHT) be somewhat easier with one). I think about Meghan and wonder how she's coping with it all. I think about the future visits and family reunions with Meghan. The other day I was imagining strolling with Lauren and someone stopping me to ask where she got her curly hair from. My imaginary answer was simple: "From Meghan, her birthmother." I think about all the things that come with having a baby: sleepless nights (again), 2-hour feedings (again), all the doctor's visits and co-pays(again). I think about all this stuff with both excitement and anticipation. But the one thing I don't sit there and think about is how much we are going to love her. It's already happened.